Tag Archives: krátké vtipy

Vtipy o bezdomovcích a žebrácích

Bohatá dáma se po krátké aférce loučí s bezdomovcem a její poslední slova, když mu dává košem, jsou tato: „Nezlob se, ale nemohu své city investovat do takového pochybného individua, jako jsi ty…”
„No dobře,” vyčítá jí skleslý pobuda, „ale do pochybných podniků své peníze investovat můžeš, viď?!”

Nejlepší vtipy anglicky

Three women are having lunch, discussing their husbands. The first says, „My husband is cheating on me, I just know it. I found a pair of stockings in his jacket pocket, and they weren´t mine!“ The second says, „My husband is cheating on me, I just know it. I found a condom in his wallet, so I poked it full of holes with my sewing needle!“ The third woman fainted.

Nejlepší vtipy anglicky

A Japanese came to Tatry and speaks with the Baca, about the martialarts. So baca asks: – Show me something, Japanese. OK, there is a swoosh, boom, and Baca falls on the ground. He opens his one eye, and asks: – Co to belo ? – Ka-ra-te. – Show me something else, Japanese. OK, there is a pull, a swoosh, a shout, boom, boom, and Baca lies on the grass. He opens one eye, and asks: – co to belo ? – Ju-ji-tsu. – Japanese – now I will show you something, OK ? OK, there is a swoosh, a thud, boom, the Japanese on the ground, telephone, signal, ambulance, hospital, insurance, second floor. On the next day, the Japanese opens one eye, and asks: – Co to belo? And Baca says: – Se-ke-ra!

Nejlepší vtipy anglicky

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings which were on display at that time. „I have good news and bad news,“ the owner replied. „Okay. Let´s hear it,“ responded the artist. „Well, the good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.“ „That´s wonderful,“ the artist exclaimed. „What´s the bad news?“ „The guy said he was your doctor.“